In an effort to be relevant, I thought I would write about Labor [& Delivery] Day on this holiday weekend.
There’s so much anticipation as a soon-to-be mom about the day you give birth. What will it be like? How will you deal with the pain? Will you experience love at first sight? Will your partner provide the right amount of support? Will you stick to your birth plan? Will you even know you’re in labor? Will your water break somewhere embarrassing? What will your body be like afterward? Will you ever sleep again?
The questions are endless and so is the worry. There is nothing that can prepare you for the day you become a mom; there’s not a blog post or book in the world that will take away the shock of the new journey you’ll be embarking on.
Here’s what I can tell you:
Nothing will go as planned but plan ahead any way!
If you are type A personality, good luck! Your organizational skills will help you tackle motherhood but you’ll have to be prepared for things to go a little off track. Go ahead and over pack your hospital bag, write that super thorough birth plan and create an extensive to-do list – this will still help alleviate some stress! You will probably forget to use most of the things you pack in your bag because you’ll be caught up in the moment with an overwhelming feeling of awe and extreme exhaustion. Your birth plan will help ensure that your partner can advocate for you when you’re too focused on managing pain to make decisions. My advice is to read about all different options and be ok with plan A, B, C and D. The worst feeling is when you have to go down a treatment path that you don’t feel educated about. Although I had no intention of getting an epidural or C-section, I was so glad that I knew what to expect with both when it became necessary to do them. The labor process is scary enough for a first time mom – do yourself a favor and be educated enough so that you and your partner know what questions to ask and when to push back or inquire about an alternate course of treatment.
Also, that to-do list will give you a sense of peace when you’re frantically headed to the hospital and worrying about whether you’re “ready” for the baby to come.
Seriously, don’t stress about the pain.
The minute your child enters the world you will be amazed by how you can barely recall what the pain of labor even felt like. I actually tried to journal about it the following day as a reminder if I have other children or for friends and I honestly couldn’t. I think God must have known that in order for women to keep having babies he’d need to wipe those memories pretty quick. Haha! In all seriousness though, looking back, labor was such a small moment in time and it’s really nothing to stress about. The instant you realize you’re finally in real labor you will be so overcome with adrenaline that it’s like you’re on a high throughout the entire process. Even afterward when you should be too tired to keep your eyes open, you will still have a generous amount of adrenaline left. Labor is so much like a marathon. You have moments throughout where you feel like you just can’t do it but then someone reminds you how far you’ve come, how close you are to the “finish line” or someone tells you that you’re a superstar. Then you’ll feel invincible and on that baby high once again.
The moment you meet your baby will be unique to you.
So many people talk about this “love at first sight” moment when they meet their baby. Please don’t create expectations for this special meet and greet; it will be truly unique for you and your baby.
When my daughter was born I remember crying and rejoicing about finally making it to the end of pregnancy and labor. My girl was so fragile, small and simple. It was amazing how she knew how to nurse immediately and I was surprised how sleepy she was.
I feel like my true “bond” with her didn’t happen until weeks after she was born though. That first stretch of time was honestly a pure focus on survival and navigating how to be a mom. It was hard to appreciate the greatness of my sweet little girl while simultaneously mourning my independence and sleep, finding time to eat and use the bathroom, desperately trying to translate baby cries, over-analyzing my mental state (Baby blues? PPD? Lack of sleep? Normal Mom feelings?), and fielding visitor requests. Just know that you created this blessing of a child with your partner from nothing, it is a miracle, and once you have a minute to breathe you will be able to see that more clearly. In the meantime just take each day (or minute) one at a time.
